I don’t know if you’ve seen the following, for example:

http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/intersection/2009/03/25/singled-out/

http://ambivalentacademic.blogspot.com/2009/03/scientist-or-fodder-for-sexual-fantasy.html

At the ripe old age of 60 I now understand that I was (keyword: was) a pretty good looking young man. And I am still an exceptionally intelligent human being. My last IQ test, if you believe in IQ results, was 162. I lost the beauty but I still have the brains.

After reading the comments above I do have one thing to say about a girl named Beverly. She said to me while gazing into my eyes, “I have always wanted to make love with someone as intelligent as you.” Unfortunately I walked away with all my brains still in not out.

Regrets, Particle T

Your point is well-taken: “it could seem reasonable that your genius girlfriend might like to be told she is pretty.”
And that is true, however, that’s not quite the point that I was trying to make. I’m interested in what happens for the complimentER rather than the complimentEE in these situations. When I find a guy who’s smart, I get weak in the knees, and just can’t resist telling him so. But from my observations, the same is not true of my interactions with men. When a man finds a woman who’s pretty, he gets weak in the knees and can’t resist telling her so. Regardless of what the other party wants to hear, isn’t it *interesting* that it (seems to be) smarts that makes women weak in the knees, and looks that makes men weak in the knees? That’s why I wonder if it’s biology. The things that make our hearts go all-a-flutter seem to be different.

Of course, this is all stereotypically speaking, and as a recent post at Swans on Tea said, why are we speaking about stereotypes? I’ve been thinking about that a lot, and my inclination is that we’re speaking about stereotypes because for many of us, the stereotypes match our experience. I can only speak for my experience in these matters. (And yes, of course, a pretty face also makes me weak in the knees, but it’s more like icing on the cake. Mmm, icing…).

So, yes, Tercel, your genius girlfriend probably does like to hear she’s pretty. We all do. In a way, saying someone’s pretty is a comglomeration of all sorts of appreciation, since people get more and more gorgeous to us the more we like them, regardless of standards of beauty. But I’m curious about what sorts of compliments we feel *bidden* to make about our significant others?!

I always flirted hard with you but could never match your wit or intelligence. We both know how gorgeous you are

R